You know what bothers me most of all?

Simple-minded opinions.

Opinions that have no basis in fact.

Opinions formed because people believe that if this equals that it must total X. Never does it occur to them that there are literally dozens of ways to come to the same total–and none of them are wrong!

Different, yes, but when did ‘different’ become a  bad thing?

I heard one the other day. I was watching something on the net when the host opinionated that a loser is someone who is in their forties and still living at home.

As an adult living at home, myself, I not only take offense but I also feel compelled to ask: What makes that such a bad thing?

There are literally dozens of reasons why adults choose to live at home in today’s day-and-age. It could be something such as an ailing or elderly parent who needs help; a choice to live together to share expenses, in our roller coaster economy with its constant ups and downs; a need to team up in order to tackle a common goal; or, some other equally valid, not-needing-to-be-justified, reason.

I moved home years ago. The biggest reason was simply that I never liked living on my own. I grew up in a larger family. We shared rooms. Finding a place that wasn’t already occupied in our house was often next to impossible . . . and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. There was always someone to hang-out or go on an adventure with. There were enough people that playing baseball or hide-and-seek was fun.

Pity the only child who has to play ball against a wall or both hide and find themselves. I can’t imagine what that would be like.

Which was why I never enjoyed living alone. I like having moments of alone time but I also like being able to connect with people face-to-face. I’m a very social creature and walking into an empty apartment with exciting news was often rather depressing.

Calling people on the telephone wasn’t an option because I actually despise those things. Since, they were a big part of my career life, coming home and chatting on one made me feel like I’d never managed to escape the office.

Texting didn’t exist back then and internet and e-mail was just in its earliest inception. Even though the worldwide web was on the very cusp of taking the world by storm it wasn’t something on most people’s radar. And, if you wanted to write a letter to anyone, it involved stamps, postal boxes and the passing of many days before it reached its destination and a response was sent.

So, I’d go to my parents’ place, on my days off, to meet up with family and friends. In fact, I began going there so much that I was actually paying rent for an apartment that I was in less than I was at Mom and Dad’s.

Oh I’d drop by my place, which was located in the middle of nowhere, on occasion; only long enough to pick up something, then I’d head back to where it was not such a desolate social wasteland. Truly, the mice that infested the building were getting more use out of my place than I was. Even my cat liked ‘Grandma’ and ‘Grandpa’s better since she had often been left alone for long periods of time, while we were in our apartment, since I worked very long days.

One day my parents said: “Why don’t you just give it up and move home?” By this point, only my material belongings were still in the apartment. So I packed up and moved the rest of the stuff out. I left behind only the odd mouse carcass that I found in my long-deserted possessions.

Ever since, I’ve been a contributing member of our shared household. I’ve worked hard at every job I’ve ever had; held management positions where I was responsible for other staff; and, donated to charity as well as helped plan and run fundraisers to support local non-profits. After high school, I obtained two diplomas, then  I took a few night classes and am currently enrolled in an on-line course for no other reason than I’ve always enjoyed learning new things. I am a woman of deep faith, who believes in helping others when I can. Yet, because I live at home, all this is supposed to be negated, thus making me a loser?

What I think is that too many people thrive on trying to make others fit into their assembly-line molds, or on trying to make others thoughts match their own convoluted ones. These same people seem to forget that we all have an inherent need to be individuals.

Just because most of the population is doing things one way, that doesn’t mean someone can’t do it another way. After all, that other way might not only bring about the same conclusion but it may even do it quicker and with more fulfilling results.

When did it become okay to say, if you don’t do it my way, or the way I would do it, then you suck?

No one needs to fit into someone else’s confined ideals in order to be a winner, particularly given that people often make such declarations without knowing all the facts.

Maybe the person who chooses to work in their hometown for less does it because they’d prefer to spend those extra hours with their kids rather than commuting to a job where they’d make more money but stand to lose something important in the process. Yes, they could buy that fancy car others covet but maybe, just maybe, their kids’ happiness means more to them than a vehicle that will be in the wreckers before those kids are even out of high school.

Maybe the person who works three jobs does it NOT because they can’t find a better one but because they choose not to. Maybe they love the work more at the lesser paying jobs. For example, someone working in non-profit often is willing to earn less for the opportunity to feel like they are making a difference in their community.

Maybe the person driving your cab held a high-profile position, at some point, but they choose to drive taxi now because they enjoy the environment, the flexibility, or the opportunity to get out of the house and earn a little extra spending money. Your driver may be a retired teacher, or a police officer, or a fireman or  a former business owner. Yet, regardless of whether they were once one of the above or they’ve worked as professional drivers all their careers, none of them are losers.

Maybe the guy with a business degree chooses to work as a retail greeter because their health was sacrificed at their high-pressure job and they’ve decided they’d rather spend an extra twenty years on this earth rather than risk an early grave just to earn a few extra bucks that someone else will most likely spend recklessly, after they die.

Maybe the person working at a seemingly lowly job is working there so they can help out their family, stuck in a bad situation. Or maybe they are there because the degrees and certificates they worked hard to earn in their homeland are not valid in this country. That does not make them losers!

While I’m on it, what makes someone with a different sexual orientation less of a person than the one who’s of your same preference? I’d be more concerned about whether the person treated others well, or whether they were rapists or serial killers, rather than who they love.

How does skin color make us different? Do we really think so different because we are lighter or darker-complected? Do we act, feel or behave different dependent on our degree of pigmentation? I never realized brain cells grew in our skin pigment. I’m pretty certain though, that some narrow-minded folks brain cells migrated from their arse ends.

The other day, I came across a story about how a man of eastern persuasion was frustrated because he is often stopped at airports because his appearance is one which has now been stereotyped as being that of a ‘typical’ terrorist.

My response to that is what make us think we can tell someone is a terrorist simply based on how they look? Is that not just another form of harassment? We urge our kids not to bully yet we think it’s okay to oppress an entire ethnic group based on their looks and the court of public opinion.

Do all good people have a certain look? Do all activists have the same appearance? Can you walk past all murderers or criminals and know you’ve walked past them? What does a child abuser look like?

Point is, no one ever benefitted from negative profiling. Not the profiler and not the profilee. All it accomplishes is animosity and to encourage a type of disrespect that never needed to exist. It grows an environment of haters, where we feel we constantly need to be beating on someone else’s self-confidence and self-worth in order to feel good about our own.

By categorizing people, we risk lumping wonderful people who contribute to society and to their families in the same category as people who leech off and abuse others.

A negative comment, a callous remark can destroy something good and beautiful and turn it ugly and evil. A kind word or a hand up may have been all that was needed to stop a lifetime of bad behaviour or to prevent someone from taking their own life.

By deciding that everyone who walks a certain way, or talks a certain way, or wears certain clothes, or listens to certain music is the way you’ve negatively profiled them to be, you risk robbing people of their chance to shine.

Truly, what does it matter if someone chooses to live at home until they are 100? If everyone in the house is happy with the arrangement, who is harmed? Why is there a need for negative portrayals? What’s to stop it from ending there?

Actually, it doesn’t. There are those who will nitpick at everything and everyone. For example, have you ever heard the one about how those who play video games will grow up to be losers?

Well there are some VERY rich people who got that way from playing video games, creating video games and reviewing video games online. Poor buggers are probably laughing their loser asses all the way to the bank!

Back to the initial topic, there was a time when cross-generational families were the norm. They still are in many countries. To me it’s a sign of a strong family. Of a family that is willing to work together to ensure that no member ever fails; of a family that cares about each other enough to ensure that not one member ever has to feel like a loser as they drown under a mountain of debt so they can keep up with the norm.

The antiquated belief of what the composition a family household should be died years ago. Some people just never got the message. Perhaps it was because they were too busy burying themselves in social media that they never got around to testing the waters of the real world. I love social media; it’s a nice place to visit but, seriously, there’s lots of cool stuff going on all around you while your nose in buried in your device. Don’t forget about that too.

I digress.

The moral of my story is that true households are comprised of anyone who chooses to live together, regardless of age, with no shame involved. There are no generic rules that dictate who can live in any given house, what gender they must be, what religion they must follow, what political beliefs they must hold, nor what their yearly income must total. There are no standards on how many children parents can have or by what age those children must pack up and move out.

If you don’t like that, or don’t agree, then just don’t live in that household. Problem solved!